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You are missing the "status of relationship" talk. After you have been dating for a while, someone says something like - "Hey, I think your neat. And I feel really strongly about you / love you / would feel lost without you." And then the other person says something like "Me too", or "ditto" or wants to talk about it for a long time about what a relationship means to them. This talk is the key to starting a real romantic relationship. The journey here and afterwards will look very different for everyone - but I think this is the one thing that every romantic relationship starts with.

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